Never Enough...

Why do I keep torturing myself? Hopefully writing this post can put the feelings out there so I can let them go. Feeling something for someone that doesn't feel the same for you is not only a let down, but also depressing. When Will I learn?

Hurt. That's what I feel but I had to ask the question. It wasn't asked just out of curiosity. It was asked because I already knew the answer. That gut feeling that God gives you. That intuition that you are are always aware of. That tug in your mind and that pull in your heart. That leads me to ask questions. Answers are what I needed to finally have.

Am I mad? Hell Yeah! More mad at myself for wasting years and wasting time. I am mad at my feelings for putting me back in that place.
Why
Can't
I
Let
Go?

But.He.Knew.

You know what never enough is like? It's crushing. It's every emotion happening at once. It's pain thats like no other because there's nothing you can do about it. Never enough is looking in the mirror and saying ugly, monster, disguist. Never enough is that lump in your through and the tears you can't stop. Never enough is wondering why. Never enough is nothing.

That's where I am right now. Stuck.At.Nothing.