Decision Day

Decision 1. Forgiveness and Move on.
Holding on to anger. Holding on to hurt. Holding on to pressure only hurts the one holding on. To really let go, you have to emotionally let it all go. Let it move in the wind and blow away. So I said a sorry and in the wind it blew. Not trying to go back to before. Not trying to make up. Just taking what I put on me, lifting it up, moving my body, moving my hands and letting go.
I.
Feel.
Free.

The fact that it's officially the Holy Day of Atonement doesn't hurt. This day puts a lot on the mind about forgiveness for others, seeking from others and giving it to yourself. It's about reconnecting or disconnecting without burning a bridge.

Decision 2. Going for the Gusto
You don't get to gusto by instant message or a microwave. Gusto comes in steps. The first step is the surgery. Emotional Pain can also tie to Physical Pain. I'm sick and tired of both, so I called the radiologist to schedule a consultation for fibroid removal. She hasn't called me back, but when she does, I'm not falling back. No more pain. NO MORE! I'm preparing the family, talked to HR, talked to Loretta. I may be out for 6 weeks so home will be my friend.
Maybe they can do a tummy tuck while mucking around in there...

PS...I miss you so much Adrian.